I really like this. I got this from a friend and it's so true.
"A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired." -Anonymous
Sunday, January 18, 2009
21 Big Lessons from Little Kids, Little gems you may have forgotten.
1. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Even when there's not a prize in the bottom of the box.
2. Sometimes it's best to be completely blunt with people, as you used to be with relatives who wanted you to do something embarrassing or tedious for a shiny quarter.
3. Asking questions is how you figure things out. Lots and lots of questions.
4. An older, wiser Gordie Lachance says in Stand By Me, "I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was 12." Lachance is right. The trick is to try to be the friend you were when you were 12: fun-loving and loyal, with no strings attached.
5. Playing is work. Approach your downtime with all the seriousness of a 5-year-old with a secret treasure map.
6. Real guys don't dip their toes in the water. They jump right in.
7. Girls have cooties. Well, the ones you meet in certain bars do, anyway.
8. You hated it when a grown-up told you, "We'll see." It's still unacceptable. Don't say it yourself.
9. The only way to know how something works is to completely disassemble it. (This is still good advice when tackling a complex problem. Your plasma TV? Not so much).
10. There's a reason they don't give credit cards to 8-year-olds. You're supposed to save up money before you buy a new toy.
11. Your body was designed for throwing baseballs, shooting hoops, and jumping off diving boards and stuff. In the secret language of children, the word "fitness" doesn't exist. It's called "having fun."
12. Your world can be half-real and half-imaginary.
13. Homework blows. Bring work home with you and it'll ruin your night. And your marriage. And your family. And your life.
14. Too much of anything will give you a tummy ache. Like, say, bourbon.
15. If there's even the slightest doubt, hit the potty before you leave.
16. The coolest adults were the ones who took the time to listen to you. You still want to grow up to be a cool adult, right?
17. Treasure Island, Dracula: The best books are consumed after dark with a flashlight.
18. Use adrenaline as your drug of choice. You don't need beer, pot, or cigarettes to have a good time.
19. Kissing a girl on the cheek is a big deal. Kissing her lips is an even bigger deal. Seeing her naked for the first time is a major, life-altering event.
20. Going after a target in the urinal makes the time whiz by.
21. Seeing a thunderstorm roll in is better than watching HDTV. And rain isn't something to curse, but to enjoy. Hurry up, before it clears.
2. Sometimes it's best to be completely blunt with people, as you used to be with relatives who wanted you to do something embarrassing or tedious for a shiny quarter.
3. Asking questions is how you figure things out. Lots and lots of questions.
4. An older, wiser Gordie Lachance says in Stand By Me, "I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was 12." Lachance is right. The trick is to try to be the friend you were when you were 12: fun-loving and loyal, with no strings attached.
5. Playing is work. Approach your downtime with all the seriousness of a 5-year-old with a secret treasure map.
6. Real guys don't dip their toes in the water. They jump right in.
7. Girls have cooties. Well, the ones you meet in certain bars do, anyway.
8. You hated it when a grown-up told you, "We'll see." It's still unacceptable. Don't say it yourself.
9. The only way to know how something works is to completely disassemble it. (This is still good advice when tackling a complex problem. Your plasma TV? Not so much).
10. There's a reason they don't give credit cards to 8-year-olds. You're supposed to save up money before you buy a new toy.
11. Your body was designed for throwing baseballs, shooting hoops, and jumping off diving boards and stuff. In the secret language of children, the word "fitness" doesn't exist. It's called "having fun."
12. Your world can be half-real and half-imaginary.
13. Homework blows. Bring work home with you and it'll ruin your night. And your marriage. And your family. And your life.
14. Too much of anything will give you a tummy ache. Like, say, bourbon.
15. If there's even the slightest doubt, hit the potty before you leave.
16. The coolest adults were the ones who took the time to listen to you. You still want to grow up to be a cool adult, right?
17. Treasure Island, Dracula: The best books are consumed after dark with a flashlight.
18. Use adrenaline as your drug of choice. You don't need beer, pot, or cigarettes to have a good time.
19. Kissing a girl on the cheek is a big deal. Kissing her lips is an even bigger deal. Seeing her naked for the first time is a major, life-altering event.
20. Going after a target in the urinal makes the time whiz by.
21. Seeing a thunderstorm roll in is better than watching HDTV. And rain isn't something to curse, but to enjoy. Hurry up, before it clears.
Winners vs Losers
Winners vs Losers
The Winner is always part of the answer;
The Loser is always part of the problem. The Winner is always has a program;
The Loser always has an excuse. The Winner says,"Let me do it for you;
The Loser says;" That is not my job." The Winner sees an answer for every problem;
The Loser sees a problem for every answer. The Winner says," It may be difficult but it is possible";
The Loser says,"It may be possible but it is too difficult." When a Winner makes a mistake, he says," I was wrong";
When a Loser makes a mistake, he says," It wasn't my fault." A Winner makes commitments;
A Loser makes promises. Winners have dreams;
Loser have schemes. Winners say," I must do something";
Losers say,"Something must be done." Winners are a part of the team;
Losers are apart from the team. Winners see the gain;
Losers see the pain. Winners see possibilities;
Losers see problems. Winners believe in win/win; Losers believe for them to win someone has to lose.
Winners see the potential;
Losers see the past. Winners are like a thermostat;
Losers are like thermometers. Winners choose what they say;
Losers say what they choose. Winners use hard arguments but soft words;
Losers use soft arguments but hard words. Winners stand firm on values but compromise on petty things;
Losers stand firm on petty things but compromise on values. Winners follow the philosophy of empathy: "Don't do to others what you
would, not want them to do to you";
Losers follow the philosophy, "Do it to others before they do it to you."
Winners make it happen;
Losers let it happen.
The Winner is always part of the answer;
The Loser is always part of the problem. The Winner is always has a program;
The Loser always has an excuse. The Winner says,"Let me do it for you;
The Loser says;" That is not my job." The Winner sees an answer for every problem;
The Loser sees a problem for every answer. The Winner says," It may be difficult but it is possible";
The Loser says,"It may be possible but it is too difficult." When a Winner makes a mistake, he says," I was wrong";
When a Loser makes a mistake, he says," It wasn't my fault." A Winner makes commitments;
A Loser makes promises. Winners have dreams;
Loser have schemes. Winners say," I must do something";
Losers say,"Something must be done." Winners are a part of the team;
Losers are apart from the team. Winners see the gain;
Losers see the pain. Winners see possibilities;
Losers see problems. Winners believe in win/win; Losers believe for them to win someone has to lose.
Winners see the potential;
Losers see the past. Winners are like a thermostat;
Losers are like thermometers. Winners choose what they say;
Losers say what they choose. Winners use hard arguments but soft words;
Losers use soft arguments but hard words. Winners stand firm on values but compromise on petty things;
Losers stand firm on petty things but compromise on values. Winners follow the philosophy of empathy: "Don't do to others what you
would, not want them to do to you";
Losers follow the philosophy, "Do it to others before they do it to you."
Winners make it happen;
Losers let it happen.
Dating Advice From College Football Coaches
The Following is taken from The Forde Yard Dash a weekly article written by ESPN College Football analyst Pat Forde.
Dating X-And-O's
The latest proof that Texas Tech coach Mike Leach (2) is among the more fascinating football coaches on the planet comes from this YouTube clip. In it, Leach dispenses dating advice on his coach's show. Among his first-date stratagems: Avoid salad-intensive menus, thus "the girl will be forced to eat in front of you, which is something that women hate, but the earlier the better." Also: If the conversation is lagging, go to a coffee house so you can talk about "the bizarre-looking characters going in and out."
Mike Leach
What date could go wrong with advice like that? No wonder Leach's offenses score so often.
The fact Leach would field the question is tremendous. That he discussed it with a stone-cold straight face is supernatural, but in character. Leach could open the door to fetch the morning paper, be greeted by a Tyrannosaurus Rex on the front lawn and fail to change facial expression or voice inflection.
But it also got The Dash wondering what dating tips other coaches might offer young men on their campuses.
Bobby Petrino (3): "Flatter her all night -- but keep your eyes open. If you see a hotter girl, pretend to go to the bathroom and then slip off to get her phone number."
Rich Rodriguez (4): "Go with the no-huddle offense, and hope she doesn't respond with the no-cuddle defense."
Pete Carroll (5): "Treat her like someone special. Pour on the charm. Then once you get a commitment for a second date, make it clear that you have seven other bombshells lined up if she doesn't put out."
Bob Stoops (6): "It's all calendar-related. I've always had great success on first dates in September, October, November and December, but they bomb in early January for some reason."
Mike Gundy (7): "If she says something you don't like, stand up in the middle of the restaurant and scream your age at her."
Charlie Weis (8): "If things start going badly, remind her how lousy her ex-boyfriend was."
Jim Tressel (9): "Keep it conservative. Maybe an ice cream cone followed by a little sweater shopping. If she has a Southern accent, give up immediately."
Bobby Bowden (10): "Make that date last forever. Even if it's no fun by the end of the night and you can tell she'd like you to leave, just keep hanging on."
Joe Paterno (11): "Take her to see one of those new-fangled motion picture shows. I hear they have some in color these days."
Nick Saban (12): "Tell her you're too busy breaking down Tennessee's third-and-long offensive tendencies to go on some stupid date. Where is your commitment, son? Who gave you permission to have a life? Drop and give me 20."
And if your date turns out to be Dashette Anya Monzikova (13), bring your A-game and hope it's good enough.
Anya Monzikova
You'll probably have better luck with Anya Monzikova's briefcase on "Deal or No Deal" than on a date with her.
Dating X-And-O's
The latest proof that Texas Tech coach Mike Leach (2) is among the more fascinating football coaches on the planet comes from this YouTube clip. In it, Leach dispenses dating advice on his coach's show. Among his first-date stratagems: Avoid salad-intensive menus, thus "the girl will be forced to eat in front of you, which is something that women hate, but the earlier the better." Also: If the conversation is lagging, go to a coffee house so you can talk about "the bizarre-looking characters going in and out."
Mike Leach
What date could go wrong with advice like that? No wonder Leach's offenses score so often.
The fact Leach would field the question is tremendous. That he discussed it with a stone-cold straight face is supernatural, but in character. Leach could open the door to fetch the morning paper, be greeted by a Tyrannosaurus Rex on the front lawn and fail to change facial expression or voice inflection.
But it also got The Dash wondering what dating tips other coaches might offer young men on their campuses.
Bobby Petrino (3): "Flatter her all night -- but keep your eyes open. If you see a hotter girl, pretend to go to the bathroom and then slip off to get her phone number."
Rich Rodriguez (4): "Go with the no-huddle offense, and hope she doesn't respond with the no-cuddle defense."
Pete Carroll (5): "Treat her like someone special. Pour on the charm. Then once you get a commitment for a second date, make it clear that you have seven other bombshells lined up if she doesn't put out."
Bob Stoops (6): "It's all calendar-related. I've always had great success on first dates in September, October, November and December, but they bomb in early January for some reason."
Mike Gundy (7): "If she says something you don't like, stand up in the middle of the restaurant and scream your age at her."
Charlie Weis (8): "If things start going badly, remind her how lousy her ex-boyfriend was."
Jim Tressel (9): "Keep it conservative. Maybe an ice cream cone followed by a little sweater shopping. If she has a Southern accent, give up immediately."
Bobby Bowden (10): "Make that date last forever. Even if it's no fun by the end of the night and you can tell she'd like you to leave, just keep hanging on."
Joe Paterno (11): "Take her to see one of those new-fangled motion picture shows. I hear they have some in color these days."
Nick Saban (12): "Tell her you're too busy breaking down Tennessee's third-and-long offensive tendencies to go on some stupid date. Where is your commitment, son? Who gave you permission to have a life? Drop and give me 20."
And if your date turns out to be Dashette Anya Monzikova (13), bring your A-game and hope it's good enough.
Anya Monzikova
You'll probably have better luck with Anya Monzikova's briefcase on "Deal or No Deal" than on a date with her.
Hope
Life of Reilly
By Rick Reilly
ESPN The Magazine
"They played the oddest game in high school football history last month down in Grapevine, Texas.
It was Grapevine Faith vs. Gainesville State School and everything about it was upside down. For instance, when Gainesville came out to take the field, the Faith fans made a 40-yard spirit line for them to run through.
Did you hear that? The other team's fans?
They even made a banner for players to crash through at the end. It said, "Go Tornadoes!" Which is also weird, because Faith is the Lions.
It was rivers running uphill and cats petting dogs. More than 200 Faith fans sat on the Gainesville side and kept cheering the Gainesville players on—by name.
"I never in my life thought I'd hear people cheering for us to hit their kids," recalls Gainesville's QB and middle linebacker, Isaiah. "I wouldn't expect another parent to tell somebody to hit their kids. But they wanted us to!"
And even though Faith walloped them 33-14, the Gainesville kids were so happy that after the game they gave head coach Mark Williams a sideline squirt-bottle shower like he'd just won state. Gotta be the first Gatorade bath in history for an 0-9 coach.
But then you saw the 12 uniformed officers escorting the 14 Gainesville players off the field and two and two started to make four. They lined the players up in groups of five—handcuffs ready in their back pockets—and marched them to the team bus. That's because Gainesville is a maximum-security correctional facility 75 miles north of Dallas. Every game it plays is on the road.
This all started when Faith's head coach, Kris Hogan, wanted to do something kind for the Gainesville team. Faith had never played Gainesville, but he already knew the score. After all, Faith was 7-2 going into the game, Gainesville 0-8 with 2 TDs all year. Faith has 70 kids, 11 coaches, the latest equipment and involved parents. Gainesville has a lot of kids with convictions for drugs, assault and robbery—many of whose families had disowned them—wearing seven-year-old shoulder pads and ancient helmets.
So Hogan had this idea. What if half of our fans—for one night only—cheered for the other team? He sent out an email asking the Faithful to do just that. "Here's the message I want you to send:" Hogan wrote. "You are just as valuable as any other person on planet Earth."
Some people were naturally confused. One Faith player walked into Hogan's office and asked, "Coach, why are we doing this?"
And Hogan said, "Imagine if you didn't have a home life. Imagine if everybody had pretty much given up on you. Now imagine what it would mean for hundreds of people to suddenly believe in you."
Next thing you know, the Gainesville Tornadoes were turning around on their bench to see something they never had before. Hundreds of fans. And actual cheerleaders!
"I thought maybe they were confused," said Alex, a Gainesville lineman (only first names are released by the prison). "They started yelling 'DEE-fense!' when their team had the ball. I said, 'What? Why they cheerin' for us?'"
It was a strange experience for boys who most people cross the street to avoid. "We can tell people are a little afraid of us when we come to the games," says Gerald, a lineman who will wind up doing more than three years. "You can see it in their eyes. They're lookin' at us like we're criminals. But these people, they were yellin' for us! By our names!"
Maybe it figures that Gainesville played better than it had all season, scoring the game's last two touchdowns. Of course, this might be because Hogan put his third-string nose guard at safety and his third-string cornerback at defensive end. Still.
After the game, both teams gathered in the middle of the field to pray and that's when Isaiah surprised everybody by asking to lead. "We had no idea what the kid was going to say," remembers Coach Hogan. But Isaiah said this: "Lord, I don't know how this happened, so I don't know how to say thank You, but I never would've known there was so many people in the world that cared about us."
And it was a good thing everybody's heads were bowed because they might've seen Hogan wiping away tears.
As the Tornadoes walked back to their bus under guard, they each were handed a bag for the ride home—a burger, some fries, a soda, some candy, a Bible and an encouraging letter from a Faith player.
The Gainesville coach saw Hogan, grabbed him hard by the shoulders and said, "You'll never know what your people did for these kids tonight. You'll never, ever know."
And as the bus pulled away, all the Gainesville players crammed to one side and pressed their hands to the window, staring at these people they'd never met before, watching their waves and smiles disappearing into the night.
Anyway, with the economy six feet under and Christmas running on about three and a half reindeer, it's nice to know that one of the best presents you can give is still absolutely free.
Hope."
By Rick Reilly
ESPN The Magazine
"They played the oddest game in high school football history last month down in Grapevine, Texas.
It was Grapevine Faith vs. Gainesville State School and everything about it was upside down. For instance, when Gainesville came out to take the field, the Faith fans made a 40-yard spirit line for them to run through.
Did you hear that? The other team's fans?
They even made a banner for players to crash through at the end. It said, "Go Tornadoes!" Which is also weird, because Faith is the Lions.
It was rivers running uphill and cats petting dogs. More than 200 Faith fans sat on the Gainesville side and kept cheering the Gainesville players on—by name.
"I never in my life thought I'd hear people cheering for us to hit their kids," recalls Gainesville's QB and middle linebacker, Isaiah. "I wouldn't expect another parent to tell somebody to hit their kids. But they wanted us to!"
And even though Faith walloped them 33-14, the Gainesville kids were so happy that after the game they gave head coach Mark Williams a sideline squirt-bottle shower like he'd just won state. Gotta be the first Gatorade bath in history for an 0-9 coach.
But then you saw the 12 uniformed officers escorting the 14 Gainesville players off the field and two and two started to make four. They lined the players up in groups of five—handcuffs ready in their back pockets—and marched them to the team bus. That's because Gainesville is a maximum-security correctional facility 75 miles north of Dallas. Every game it plays is on the road.
This all started when Faith's head coach, Kris Hogan, wanted to do something kind for the Gainesville team. Faith had never played Gainesville, but he already knew the score. After all, Faith was 7-2 going into the game, Gainesville 0-8 with 2 TDs all year. Faith has 70 kids, 11 coaches, the latest equipment and involved parents. Gainesville has a lot of kids with convictions for drugs, assault and robbery—many of whose families had disowned them—wearing seven-year-old shoulder pads and ancient helmets.
So Hogan had this idea. What if half of our fans—for one night only—cheered for the other team? He sent out an email asking the Faithful to do just that. "Here's the message I want you to send:" Hogan wrote. "You are just as valuable as any other person on planet Earth."
Some people were naturally confused. One Faith player walked into Hogan's office and asked, "Coach, why are we doing this?"
And Hogan said, "Imagine if you didn't have a home life. Imagine if everybody had pretty much given up on you. Now imagine what it would mean for hundreds of people to suddenly believe in you."
Next thing you know, the Gainesville Tornadoes were turning around on their bench to see something they never had before. Hundreds of fans. And actual cheerleaders!
"I thought maybe they were confused," said Alex, a Gainesville lineman (only first names are released by the prison). "They started yelling 'DEE-fense!' when their team had the ball. I said, 'What? Why they cheerin' for us?'"
It was a strange experience for boys who most people cross the street to avoid. "We can tell people are a little afraid of us when we come to the games," says Gerald, a lineman who will wind up doing more than three years. "You can see it in their eyes. They're lookin' at us like we're criminals. But these people, they were yellin' for us! By our names!"
Maybe it figures that Gainesville played better than it had all season, scoring the game's last two touchdowns. Of course, this might be because Hogan put his third-string nose guard at safety and his third-string cornerback at defensive end. Still.
After the game, both teams gathered in the middle of the field to pray and that's when Isaiah surprised everybody by asking to lead. "We had no idea what the kid was going to say," remembers Coach Hogan. But Isaiah said this: "Lord, I don't know how this happened, so I don't know how to say thank You, but I never would've known there was so many people in the world that cared about us."
And it was a good thing everybody's heads were bowed because they might've seen Hogan wiping away tears.
As the Tornadoes walked back to their bus under guard, they each were handed a bag for the ride home—a burger, some fries, a soda, some candy, a Bible and an encouraging letter from a Faith player.
The Gainesville coach saw Hogan, grabbed him hard by the shoulders and said, "You'll never know what your people did for these kids tonight. You'll never, ever know."
And as the bus pulled away, all the Gainesville players crammed to one side and pressed their hands to the window, staring at these people they'd never met before, watching their waves and smiles disappearing into the night.
Anyway, with the economy six feet under and Christmas running on about three and a half reindeer, it's nice to know that one of the best presents you can give is still absolutely free.
Hope."
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